My First Rejection Letter!

Let me clarify, I do not want to be a writer. I only wrote and submitted a story to Highlights Magazine because they pay $150 for every story of yours they print, and I wanted the extra money so I could spend it frivolously on a really big fish tank or something. So, just as I was finally healing from having my jokes snubbed by Reader's Digest after all these years, I get a Highlights rejection letter. Here it is:
I have to admit, it was a very kind letter. They even addressed me as "Dear Author" (Now I know how that Stephanie Meyer lady feels.) Not to mention, there were multiple reasons they gave for turning down manuscripts, such as, "It lacks a fresh approach." or "It lacks a strong plot." or "We avoid material that glorifies war, violence or crime." However, I was rejected for the best possible reason, "It is not suited to our present needs."
So, without further au dieu, here is my story... (which is based on a true story but a little embellished. The true part is that we do have a painting of Mt Rushmore that I got from The Goodwill hanging over our fireplace, but Stanton has never asked about it. In fact, he and Noelle often confuse George Washington with Jesus.)

Stanton looked up above the fireplace at the painting that had hung there for years and asked, “Who are those men on that mountain?”
“That is Mt. Rushmore, and carved into it are four of our country’s presidents,” his mother replied, “Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt.”
Stanton continued starring at the painting, wondering to himself what those presidents did to get their pictures carved into a mountain.
Seeing her son’s interest, Stanton’s mother continued, “Would you like to learn more about Mount Rushmore?”
“Oh yes!” Stanton replied eagerly.
His mother began, “Between 1927 and 1941, a man named Gutzon Borglum and about 400 other workers sculpted these 60 foot carvings into the side of Mount Rushmore in South Dakota.”
She pointed up at the picture. “He chose these four presidents: Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln and Roosevelt because he said ‘they commemorate the founding, growth, preservation and development of the United States.’”
Stanton looked confused. “Let me explain.” his mother said.
“George Washington was our country’s first president. He is considered the founder of our nation because he fought for our freedom and led our nation into democracy.”
“Thomas Jefferson was our 3rd president. He wrote the Declaration of Independence, and after he became President, he made the Louisiana Purchase from France, doubling the size of our country and adding 14 states.”
“Abraham Lincoln was our nation’s 16th president. He was president during the Civil War. He preserved the Union by keeping our states together and ending slavery.”
“Finally, Theodore Roosevelt was the 26th president. He furthered the development of the United States by advancing the construction on the Panama Canal and promoting conservation and business.”
Stanton was impressed. “How did they actually carve the faces into the mountain?” he questioned.
“The stone at the surface of the mountain was too soft for carving, and they needed a way to get rid of it. So about 500, 000 tons of rock was removed from the mountain with dynamite. The workers would have to climb a 760 step stairway to get to the top, and when they were up there, they would use jackhammers and drills for their sculpting.” his mother told him.
“They look really big in the painting.” Stanton said.
“They are really big.” His mother replied. “Each president’s nose is 20 ft long.”
“How long is that?” Stanton asked.
“Well, I am a little over 5 ft tall, so that is about 4 of me stacked on top of each other.” she answered. “Any other questions?”
“Yes. Can we go to Mount Rushmore?” Stanton asked.
“Of course!” his mother responded enthusiastically. “I would love to take you there someday.”
“I hope it’s someday soon.” Stanton said.